We have been reminding Becca that in English, its not 'me and Janet' but 'but Janet and I'... that it's firstly about the other person then yourself. And I know that I keep forgetting what I am meant to remember, that in marriage this is most true. That it is a constant grace of bending. Of bending my will and need to be right and remembering that its the meek that inherit. If we are both thinking 'you then I' marriage works best.
I was reading in John 15 and He said, 'Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends', to lay it down, to bend, the kind act of deferring to the other, this is love, that is how He loved us and showed us how to love others. My life and my wants and my mouth must not be exalted but must lay down. This is not popular these days and is not always easy but this works. For God resists the proud anyway but gives grace to the humble.
"Self centeredness is the main enemy of any marriage' ~ T KellerReal love protects, trusts, hopes and perseveres. Always.